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How to be respectful? – in honor of Elijah Eugene Cummings

I still feel like I am very young, but as I’m already in my 30’s I can also say that “when I was younger” I lived my life caring too much about what others think of me and how “they” would judge me. Anno now I still have these concerns, but they don’t control my thoughts and/or actions anymore, they only serve me as a tool, as a guidance on how to go about in life with the people I meet.

Yes, I am conscious of the fact that my own impressions and/or judgement of someone else’s actions can be biased and/or misjudged. In an open society these “interpersonal miscommunications” wouldn’t lead to grave outcomes and/or aggressions, as one would always need to be respectful of another persons life. The problem in our current (global) society is that there is still a too big of a group of people that value another human beings life based by the colour of their skin, by the colour of their eyes, by the natural colour of their hairs, by if they share the same beliefs, or not, or the other baseless characteristics people choose to focus on to judge someones worth here on earth.

I believe that Elijah Cummings, who just passed away fighting till his last breath for equality to all the people in his country, was someone who adhered to his own principle of having respect for another persons life. He understood that for everyone to reach that mountain of glory that Martin Luther King jr dreamed of, we need to give every single human being the room to be themselves and create a (global) society where individuals respect the boundaries of other people’s freedom, where no one is above the law nor anyone else, no matter position and job title and everyone has the same liberty to pursuit their goals, dreams and aspirations.

When I started T.C.P.A. Guidance Center. I knew then, like I know now that I am not a perfect human being, but I took the conscious decision to strive everyday to better myself so that I can achieve my life goal of contributing in being able to leave this beautiful planet we’re currently destroying in a much better state than when I was born. For me the Peace and Prosperity-Equation© was “the thing” that I could hold to and I later on created the 5P-Formula© as the practical tool to guide me in the decisions I make. The reason why I am currently not monetizing the 5P-Formula© is because when I “build it” I didn’t design it with the intention of selling it to other organizations, but just a way for me to use to help/guide/consult with (other) organizations. So I don’t have the proper materials to teach/train organizations on how to use it, and most importantly, I don’t have the proper measuring tools needed to keep validating if organizations are adhering to the formula.

For you to understand me as a person, my focus is not to go do this as it’s very hard to train people. People/organizations need to consciously take the decision to adhere to all principles unconditionally. The problem here is that most people say that they want and/or are adhering to at least a few of these principles, but their actions speak a different language and most of the time because of cognitive dissonance reduction internal mechanisms its very hard to even make someone realize this fact. I am confident that in time I will get the chance to work on this problem and build the tools needed, but for now my focus is building the Tiiendemanns Group, which will be the first company in the world that will put the 5P-Formula© as its guiding business code of conduct in its founding statutes.

I am telling you this because I also know that the information I have now on the website (www.tcpa5pmanagementconsultancy.com) that talks about the 5P-Formula© is incomplete and/or not thoroughly / extensively explained. To honor the work of Elijah Cummings I want to take time here to explain to you 3 fundamental things about the principles in the formula;

1. The easiest way to reach the behavioral outcome of (working towards) being your best self possible and for you to start loving yourself the same way you love others, is to start working with the principles from the bottom up.
2. The easiest way to understand the meaning of “Honesty” is to learn about “the 4 Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz ( you can find more info on them here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Agreements?wprov=sfti1 or you can always buy his (e)books).
A personal note: Since I’ve found the words of Don Miguel Ruiz that so perfectly describes how I myself see what it means to be a honest person, I’ve felt the relief of not needing to go find the right words to explain this myself. As there are no coincidences only life’s beautiful/interesting/surprising intersections, my mother’s maiden name is Ruiz.
3. The easiest way to understand the meaning of “Respect” and how to engrain respectful behavioral outcomes in your system is to adhere to the (sub)principles also shown in the picture, which are;

Gratitude always instead of Greed
Humbleness above Gratefulness
Honesty above Humbleness

Just like the main 11 principles, these principles you cannot take apart, as they work together to create the behavioral outcome of being respectful towards others.

As a personal note on this last point: as you can see in the picture, I’ve come up with these subprinciples only beginning of this year, as I was also struggling to explain the concept of how I understood “Respect”. When I’ve came up with these, I’ve felt an immense relief and feeling of having finished the 5P-Formula©. The feeling didn’t last long because soon thereafter I realized that I still cannot concisely explain the effect of it in ones life/organization so that most people can understand it in a few words, and the aforementioned tools are still needed. So even though the 5P-Formula© is essentially finished, tested and is found to work perfectly, I am nowhere done with this project.

To end with these words of Elijah Cummings: “When we’re dancing with the angels, the question will be asked, in 2019, what did we do to make sure we kept our democracy intact? Did we stand on the sidelines and say nothing?”

As Elijah was called to go dance with angels, we can attest today that he wasn’t someone that stood on the sidelines and said nothing. Coming from the hateful (societal) environment he was brought up in, it is highly commendable the way he as a person carried himself and the energy he put into the betterment of others. In this quote he was referring to democracy, but what he said applies of course to all the collective problems we are currently facing in the world. We don’t owe it to him, we owe it to ourselves to always speak up. We must always remember that we may be wrong about the thing we say, but we are 100% wrong when we say nothing when we know or feel that something is wrong.

The principles to adhere to be(come) a respectful person

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